Part 4: Fear — The Emotion That Warns and Invites
How Churches Can Embrace Fear as Part of Spiritual Formation and Emotional Healing
What if fear isn’t proof you’re failing—but proof that something deeply important is at stake?
Fear gets a bad rap in church.
We quote “Do not be afraid” like it’s a command to shut it down. We treat fear like a failure of faith—something to repent of, not reflect on.
But fear, like all emotion, isn’t the enemy. It’s a messenger.
It tells us something important is at stake. It raises honest, gut-level questions:
Am I safe?
Am I alone?
Am I enough for this?
But fear doesn’t just raise questions about ourselves—it reaches deeper. It asks questions about God:
Is He really good?
Is He still in charge?
Is He here with me—and can I trust Him?
Those aren’t sinful questions. They’re deeply human. And when we ignore them, we miss the invitation to let God respond.
At its core, fear is a guardrail. A God-given emotion designed to protect what matters most—our safety, our hearts, our faith.
The Psychological View: Fear as a Safety Signal
Fear is a response to perceived threat. It’s your nervous system’s way of saying, “Something might go wrong. Pay attention.”
That’s not weakness. That’s wisdom.
Fear sharpens focus. It rallies our instincts. It prepares us to respond—fight, flight, freeze, or fawn. In real danger, it literally saves lives. The fear of drowning keeps us in the shallow end. And in that moment, that's wisdom.
I see it in my kids:
My toddler climbs higher each week, learning through fear how to fall less and land softer.
My kindergartner, afraid of being left out, is motivated to try new social risks—like sharing or apologizing.
My fourth grader walks school hallways without an adult. The flicker of fear helps her make quick, safe decisions before harm can find her.
Fear, when it’s healthy, isn’t there to stop growth—it helps shape it.
Fear doesn’t just protect us from physical harm, but emotional harm too:
Fear of failure.
Fear of rejection.
Fear of being seen too much—or not seen at all.
This is where fear can become paralyzing. Not because it’s irrational, but because we’re trying to control what can’t be controlled.
The Trauma-Informed View: Fear as a Flashback
For trauma survivors, fear isn’t always about what’s happening now. It’s about what already happened.
You feel terrified in a safe room.
You try something new—and suddenly, your chest tightens.
Your hands shake. You freeze. You want to run.
Again, that’s not weakness. It’s protective programming.
Your body remembers what your brain has tried to forget.
Maybe the last time you trusted, you were betrayed.
Maybe the last time you were excited, it ended in loss.
Maybe the last time you stepped out in faith, it cost more than you could afford.
This applies to big traumas like abuse, but it also applies to more “normal” traumas—like losing a best friend or moving away from an established support system.
Any time a relationship is severed or damaged, it can create a kind of trauma path in the brain—because, first and foremost, we are wired for connection. We are made in the image of a relational God. So relationships, for better or worse, shape us.
I see this all the time in my own friendships as an adult. Fear seems to lurk around the corner of every new connection. We’ve lost enough friends, moved enough times, that almost none of us have secure attachments anymore. We long for consistency and depth, but history tells us that rupture, disagreement, or time will get in the way.
So adult friendships grow at a trauma-slow pace.
Every time we get closer to each other, fear shows up like an old guard dog barking:
“Don’t go there. You’ll get hurt again.”
In the fall, we’ll talk more about how to recover these relationships. But for now, let’s just notice fear and its impact—personally, relationally, and spiritually.
And notice this: you can’t logic your way out of fear. We need something more:
Healing
Presence
Compassion
And the kind of love that doesn’t shame fear but holds it gently until it quiets
The Biblical View: Fear as an Invitation
Scripture is full of “Do not be afraid”—but God never says it with cold detachment.
It always comes with a reason:
“Do not be afraid… for I am with you.” — Isaiah 41:10
“Do not fear… for the Lord goes with you.” — Deuteronomy 31:6
“Fear not… for I bring you good news of great joy.” — Luke 2:10
In other words: God doesn’t dismiss fear. He responds to it.
And He invites us to do the same—not to deny it or bulldoze over it, but to bring it to Him and ask:
“I feel afraid. What do You want me to know in this?”
Fear, in its redeemed form, leads us closer to God. It keeps us alert to what matters. And when it becomes holy fear—a reverent awareness that we’re stepping into something big—it can even motivate faith.
Have you ever been afraid to step out, but more afraid not to?
That’s not cowardice. That’s courage being born.
For the Church: Fear as Formation
If we want to be a trauma-informed, emotionally honest church, we’ve got to stop treating fear as a spiritual flaw.
Fear is not always unbelief.
Sometimes, it’s what happens right before breakthrough.
Mary was “greatly troubled” when the angel spoke.
Joseph almost backed out.
Moses stuttered.
Gideon hid.
Paul trembled.
Fear was never a disqualifier. But each of them had to face it, walk through it, and trust a strength greater than their own.
And so do we.
Practice: Responding to Fear This Week
1. Name it.
What are you afraid of right now? Be honest. Write it down.
2. Find the message beneath it.
Ask: What does this fear want to protect me from?
Is it about real danger—or vulnerability?
3. Bring it to God.
Try praying:
“God, I’m afraid of ____. Show me what’s true. Speak into this fear.”
4. Take one small step anyway.
Faith doesn’t mean fear disappears.
It means you move forward with God, not away from Him.
Let your fear draw you closer, not drive you back.
Fear isn’t always a stop sign.
Sometimes, it’s a signpost—pointing to something that really matters.
So listen. Reflect. Respond.
But don’t let fear lead.
Let God lead. He’s already in your future.
Next up: Disgust — The Emotion That Protects Integrity and Draws Boundaries.
Was great to read this Monday morning while having fear from reading work emails haha